Forgive Myself: As I ponder the growth I have made, I try not to dwell on the regretted escapades. I look to see what was learned, And see how that can help me attain what I yearn. Those moments of hope and faith and fear, Have all but helped me make things clear. Will I ever know what I am meant for? Will I ever know why I have less or more? Will I ever understand His plan? Why I feel I am left by every man? I know that only time will tell, If I will ever allow my heart to swell. Will I ever allow my heart to heal? And once again to learn how to feel. Oh how my heart is scared, To feel once more the pain unpaired. If he comes how will I know, How will I learn to let go. Not all men are the same, I feel the overwhelming power of disdain. I loved and lost and did a second time, I don’t know how to live the lie, That I no longer trust myself, And feel that I don’t deserve that wealth. Will I ever learn to trust, I know to move forward that I must. Please heaven help this abandoned heart, And help me free my soul in part, To help me on this life long journey to find my love, And finally find a friend from above.